In 1977, eight years after her daughter, Gale, had died of meningitis at the age of seventeen months, Joan McLaughlin read an article in her local newspaper about a group for bereaved parents called “The Compassionate Friends.” A couple by the name of John and Dorothy Chipman were planning to hold the first meeting of the new local chapter in Lynnfield, MA. Joan understood the benefit of bereaved parents getting together, because six months after her daughter’s death, she had become acquainted with Ada Mongiello, whose daughter had died of lymphoma at the age of three. Together, Joan and Ada helped each other through their difficult times, and Joan thought it would be even more wonderful to have a whole group of bereaved parents supporting each other.

When Joan attended her first meeting in Lynnfield, she met Jean and Tom O’Hare, whose twin daughter, Jeannie, had died of leukemia at the age of fifteen. Joan and the O’Hare’s became fast friends. A year later, when the Chipman’s decided to give up the chapter leadership, Jean, Tom and Joan became the new leaders of the North Shore/Boston Chapter of The Compassionate Friends. They moved the chapter to their home town of North Reading and meetings have been held at the Aldersgate United Methodist Church ever since. Over the course of the following thirteen years, the membership grew to include many bereaved parents from various locations north of Boston. Average attendance at meetings was approximately twenty to twenty-five people. During their tenure as chapter leaders, Jean, Tom and Joan were instrumental in the formation of a strong local chapter of The Compassionate Friends, as well as in reaching out to educate the community about the mission of this organization.

In 1990, the founding chapter leaders decided to step down. At that time, Art Moores took over the leadership of the chapter. Art’s daughter, Cindy, had died when she was hit by a car in front of his home. During his eight years as leader, Art enlisted the support and help of a dedicated group of bereaved parents who were willing to donate their time and service to the chapter, thereby strengthening the chapter and enabling the group to continue to fulfill its mission to provide support to newly bereaved parents and siblings.

Trudy Sevier, whose daughter, Debbie, died of suicide, became the North Shore/Boston chapter’s next leader in 1999. Trudy served as leader during a very challenging time in her own personal life. The chapter continued to thrive as Trudy encouraged parents who were further along in their grief to join the chapter steering committee and take on some of the leadership roles that were needed to run the chapter. In 2004, Trudy had plans to move away from the North Shore and therefore began to transfer the chapter leadership to Carmen Pope, who is serving as the current chapter leader.

Carmen’s son, Tom, died at the age of eleven in a boating accident. She also had an infant twin son, Christopher, who died three days after birth, of anencephaly. The chapter web site was constructed under Carmen’s leadership. The web site serves as an additional resource to the newly bereaved and their supporters, whether or not they attend the chapter group meetings. It also serves as a means to promote increased awareness of the North Shore/Boston Chapter in particular and The Compassionate Friends organization in general.

Although the chapter leadership has changed hands several times, former leaders continue to be involved as advisors and supporters of the group. Our chapter has been active for the past twenty-eight years and has grown along with the National TCF office. The chapter has remained viable due to the people who have been willing to give of their time by facilitating meetings, contributing to the monthly newsletter, serving as greeters, secretaries or treasurers, organizing the library, planning special chapter events, making phone calls or sending informational packets to the newly bereaved, or simply by helping to put away chairs at the end of a meeting. It is truly amazing that when people are hurting so deeply, their willingness to do one little thing to help others can contribute so much to their own healing process. The ongoing willingness of group members to reach out and help others is the reason for the long term effectiveness of The Compassionate Friends and the North Shore/Boston Chapter.